Namate dear reader!
Have you ever felt like you always need to be perfect? Like everything you do, say, or look like needs to be just right?
For a long time, I felt that way. I thought if I just tried hard enough, controlled everything, and made no mistakes, I could have a perfect life. But guess what? It didn’t work. All it did was make me tired, worried, and unhappy.
We see perfect things everywhere. On social media, everyone’s life looks amazing. Books and gurus tell us how to be “better” or “optimized.” Slowly, this idea can make us feel like we’re not good enough until we reach some ideal state. I believed it completely.
For me, this struggle with perfection wasn’t about everything. It was about certain parts of my life. If I wanted to be healthy, I felt I had to be perfectly healthy, never eating anything “bad.” If I was doing something creative, like writing or painting, every single part had to be just right. My mind was always checking, always finding mistakes. This often meant I’d start things and then stop because they weren’t turning out “perfect” in my head. It meant I’d avoid going out with people if I didn’t feel confident or smart enough. This led to constant, low-level stress, because I was always afraid of not being good enough.
This need to be flawless, I now see, was a way to protect myself. I thought if everything was perfect, nothing could go wrong, and no one could judge or hurt me. It felt like a shield, but it was actually a cage. It stopped me from truly living, trying new things, and connecting with others. It took away the joy of doing something and made me only focus on an outcome that I could never reach.
How Light Gets In Through the Cracks
Changing this didn’t happen in one day. It was a slow process of breaking down the idea of “perfect.” It started with small acts of rebellion: a painting I chose to leave unfinished, a meal I cooked that didn’t look like the picture but tasted great, or a talk where I let myself mess up my words instead of staying quiet.
What I found in these moments of “not being perfect” was amazing: freedom.
When I stopped needing everything to be spotless, I found real happiness in what I was doing. When I accepted that something could be “good enough” instead of “perfect,” I actually finished it. When I allowed myself to be messy, open, or unsure, I found that people didn’t turn away; they often felt closer to me.
It’s like an old Japanese art called Kintsugi. This is when broken pottery is fixed with special glue mixed with gold. The idea is that the breaks and repairs are part of the object’s story. They are not hidden; they are celebrated, which makes the object even more beautiful and unique.
Your Own Golden Repairs
So, how can we start to embrace our own “Kintsugi”? It begins with a choice, just like choosing happiness over sadness.
- Find Your Perfection Traps: Where in your life do you feel the most pressure to be perfect? Is it how you look, your job, your friendships, or your hobbies? Just knowing these areas can help a lot.
- Try “Good Enough”: For one task today, try to do it “good enough” instead of perfect. Maybe send an email without reading it ten times, or clean a room without making it spotless. See how it feels to let go of that pressure.
- Enjoy the Doing, Not Just the End Result: Focus on the experience of creating, learning, or working, not just on the perfect final product. Find joy in the effort, the small mistakes, and unexpected turns.
- Listen to How You Talk to Yourself: When you make a mistake or don’t meet your own impossible standards, what do you say to yourself? Challenge that harsh inner voice. Talk to yourself with the same kindness you’d show a good friend.
- Seek Imperfect Connections: Share something personal and a little vulnerable with a friend you trust. Let them see you when you’re not at your very best. You might be surprised how much closer you feel when you stop trying to appear flawless.
Life isn’t a perfect song; it’s more like a messy, beautiful jazz jam. There will be wrong notes, surprising rhythms, and moments that are wonderfully chaotic. And it’s in these imperfections, these unique parts, that the real magic happens.
Choosing to let go of the need for perfection isn’t about lowering what you expect or becoming lazy. It’s about changing your energy from a tiring chase to a fulfilling journey. It’s about accepting your true worth, even with all your flaws, and finding the deep joy that comes from just being, doing, and growing imperfectly, but beautifully.
So, what about you? Is there one small thing you can let go of “being perfect” about today? Share your thoughts in the comments below, or feel free to connect with me if this resonated with you.
Let’s explore more ways to live a more peaceful and authentic life together!
Originally published on Medium.
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